How To Find Balance After A Pandemic

Here’s How It Went:

“My schedule is (well.. was) a little crazy. As an extrovert/yes girl, I can’t remember a time where my life hasn’t been on the go, all the time – and I really loved it that way. My 2020 schedule was already packed with travel and new experiences in the city, and then life as we all knew it was turned upside down. The beginning of quarantine was a moment of peace and a break I didn’t realize I needed.

I adjusted from a bustling workplace to a quiet desk in my parent’s house, and game nights at home instead of cocktails and bar hopping. I found it somewhat of a relief not to have to go make plans on the weekend. Not because I didn’t miss my friends, but because I finally gave myself time to rest and re-evaluate what parts of my life were actually bringing me joy. I was no longer burdened by FOMO (fear of missing out) or saying no and letting friends down. I stopped drinking for two months and realized that the constant battle with hangover-induced anxiety wasn’t serving me in any way.

While I enjoy trying new restaurants, going to happy hour, and dancing the night away with friends, I feel like quarantine has forced me to peel back some layers of my life and face my priorities head-on and alone. We won’t ever go back to “our old ways”, and frankly, I don’t want to. I want to prioritize health and mental well-being, and I want to honor my body when it screams for rest instead of another night out. I feel conflicted about how to balance it all. I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I have the option to go back out again.

What’s the best way to balance social connection and self-care? How do I find balance and implement the changes I made during quarantine? Are there other things I can do to entertain myself over the weekends and holidays?“

My Take:

An abrupt change in lifestyle can be a confusing time. When forced to slow down and address your behavior, you may notice that your exhaustion began long before quarantine started. The FOMO has seemed to ease when the decision to stay home was made for you. The line has been drawn, which is something you may have had difficulty doing for yourself before.

FOMO:

We ignore the fact that it may be our anxiety that doesn’t allow us to ease up. You may be so burdened by the thought of a missed opportunity or connection that you force yourself out, even if it takes away from your personal happiness. It becomes difficult to set boundaries when your actions are driven by an unconscious need to be involved. We are at the whim of our anxious tendencies when we leave them unchecked and overlooked.

Hangxiety:

Psychologically, emotionally, and physically, you’ve adjusted and adapted to this new pace of life – both socially and at work. You have noticed some positive differences in your overall health that are reinforcing the much-needed change. You’ve realized that you don’t need as much stimulus as you thought you did. Making the decision to cut down on alcohol consumption has noticeably eased the perpetual “hangxiety.” This increase in anxiety is caused by the multiple physiological changes that occur in the brain after heavy drinking. Addressing your tendency to get anxious allows you to set limits for yourself when faced with the decision on how much to drink.

Self-Care:

To find the balance between self-care and social connection, you should make it a point to check in with yourself daily. Find time to address your physical and mental well-being and set healthy boundaries based on how you feel. Some days you may be up for a late-night going out, but other days, you may need more rest. Dissect your anxious notions – notice when your desire comes from a place of worry, like if you feel like you’ll miss an opportunity or that someone might be upset with you for not going. Realize that your health (both physical and mental) is your first priority.

What I Suggested She Do: Start Slowly:

Similar to the phases of reopening society, start slowly and progress with care. Set boundaries on your capacity, leave room for social distance and establish shorter hours. Notice if you’ve had a long day and need to relax. Don’t check social media if you feel like it could make you anxious about missing out. Set an earlier time for yourself to conclude activities if you’re not feeling up to them. Rather than a nosedive, you can slowly wade back into your social affairs – safely and comfortably.

New Activities with Boundaries:

Below, I’ve listed some suggestions for activities – other than hikes and nature walks – that can help you ease back into your social life, taking your new boundaries into consideration. These activities deliver the appropriate balance of social connection and entertainment you desire to keep moving forward.

Outdoor Picnics:

With the warm air and extended daylight, summertime provides the perfect setting for an outdoor dining experience. Pick up your favorite meal to go, lay a blanket down outside, and enjoy the day turn to night over some delicious food. Doing so will allow you to bond with friends, support your favorite restaurant, and enjoy nature in a relaxing way.

Drive-in Movies:

Kick back, relax, and enjoy a big-screen flick from the comfort and safety of your car. Since their reopening at the beginning of May, drive-in theaters have been selling out nationally. After months of streaming old movies and questionable shows in our bedrooms, we finally have the opportunity to regain a sense of normalcy as we enjoy entertainment surrounded by other people (at a safe distance). The movie has a designated end time, allowing for a natural conclusion of the night at a reasonable hour.

Road Trips:

We often forgo the beauty around us when considering travel destinations. Lower risk than air travel, a weekend road trip will allow you adventure away from your every day. Hop in the car and drive a few hours in any direction and you’re bound to see something interesting. Grab some friends, or go alone for a truly introspective experience, and explore somewhere new. Let this time allow you to find beauty and joy in the little things – like a sunset from a mountain overlook, wildflowers in an empty field, or Hostess Twinkie. We so often find ourselves lost in desire for extravagant and faraway lands, that we forget how much we can experience around us.

Find the Balance:

Remember, do what feels good for YOU. Make yourself the priority. Set boundaries, but don’t be hard on yourself if you fall off. You are learning and growing, it’s all part of the process. As Jana Kingsford said, “Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.”

Reminder: Whatever you decide to do, be safe and respectful when doing so. Having the ability to use this time as a “break from our everyday grind” is not a universal privilege. Many essential workers risk their lives every day to make sure others are safe and taken care of. Be safe for yourself, and them.